For those of you who don’t know, I’m an avid reader and recently I came across a book called It’s Okay About It by Lauren Casper. I highly recommend it to anyone who has forgotten how to see the simple joys in life or to even live life joyfully because let’s be honest, sometimes that’s hard to do isn’t it?
Lauren’s book touches on so many things and I just wanted to share a few with you.
- Expectations can set us up for disappointment.
As a natural born optimist I struggle with having high hopes only to be crushed when things don’t turn out how I want them to. This can be in any area of life but I especially struggle with this when it comes to relationships. One thing I have learned is that it’s not fair to me or the other person to place such impossible expectations on them. It only sets us both up for failure because the only one that we can turn to 24/7 and the one that never changes is Jesus.
2. Success is a process.
How do you define success? Is it raising a God-fearing family? Another step on the corporate ladder? A trip to Target without getting something that wasn’t on the list?
Lauren used the example of how her son kept trying to place a larger block on a smaller block and how he would become frustrated when it would topple over. He was trying so hard to make something work that just wouldn’t unless he built it on a firm foundation.
I don’t know about you but I’ve lost count on how many times I have tried again and again to make something work that just wasn’t meant to work in the first place. I take my long list of reasons and excuses to God and pray for Him to make it work and you want to know something? Sometimes He fixes it in ways that I have prayed for but more often than not He steps in and does something different..and it’s even better than I imagined. I didn’t understand at the time and quite honestly, I was frustrated and hurt but I wouldn’t have it any other way if it meant that God was using that for His glory.
3. Our roles don’t give us value. God gives us value.
This is where I’m getting completely honest…. For the past few years I have struggled so much to see friends get engaged, then married, and then become mothers. While I am happy for them, there’s a hurt that is unbearable when that hasn’t happened for me yet. Having grown up in church my whole life and hearing how much of a blessing and calling it is to be a mother, it’s painful and has honestly left me feeling like less of a woman because I haven’t reached that place yet-a place that is beyond my control. I can’t count how many times I have brought and continue to bring this request to God. I don’t understand the reason for the wait but I do trust Him in His reasons for the wait.
I say all that to say this, Lauren said something that was a balm for my soul and I wanted to share it with you and hopefully it speaks to you like it did to me.
“Christian circles elevated motherhood as a woman’s ‘highest calling’ which left me feeling unimportant, unneeded, and not enough. I wish I had recognized the lies then. I wish I’d known then that a woman’s (and a man’s) highest calling is being a child of God. I wish I had believed that it wasn’t the roles I filled or didn’t fill that gave me value, but rather God who gives me value. He, the One who created every part of who I am, determined from day one that I am already enough.” (emphasis mine)
Did you catch that? We are enough. We don’t have to do more or be more. God in his incomprehensible love looks at us with such adoration and love because we are His not because of what we do. There isn’t anything we can do that can make Him love us more and there isn’t anything we can do that can make Him love us less. I know it’s hard to understand because our culture wants us to have a list of requirements or expectations when it comes to love but with God, who is the very definition of love- simply loves us!
I don’t know what lies the enemy is whispering to you right now. I do know that we have a decision to make. We can either feed our fears or we can feed our faith. I’ve been and continue to be on both ends of the spectrum but when I feed my faith I realize how big my God truly is. He is bigger than every fear, failure, and feeling that consumes our lives!
I don’t know what prayer you keep taking to God day after day or maybe you have even stopped praying because you haven’t seen any difference in your circumstances. Friend, I get it! That’s me too sometimes but please remember to take it one day at a time and leave it in the hands of the God who has it all under control. He can handle the hurt, the anger, the frustration. Just hand it over and see what He can and more importantly, what He WILL do.
As always, I am praying for anyone who is reading this and I would love to hear from you if this has touched you in anyway! 🙂